I have been on a lot of courses over the years both professionally and for hobbies. In fact recently my husband and I went diving and spent a lot of time with a group of others… and I can safely say there is “always one! “. We had a woman on our boat who was the “loudest”,” know it all -ballon” I have seen in a long time! So much so her husband told her everyday to just “shut up”!
They are “The One” that just drives you mad-talks too much, asks too many silly questions, embarrasses others, including the teacher, is too loud, shows off etc. You get my drift I am sure.
For many of you have been on a course, are going through training or have been forced to spend time with others not of your choosing, you will know what I mean! In fact if you do not know- the chances are the annoying person is you!
I have often wondered when on a course why this happens, also when I am teaching why it can happen to me that I have one such person in the group. Have I made this happen? Did I create a environment where this was created? Do I make them behave this way? Did they come with these issues or did I generate them?
Sometimes people are trying to play a game of “one-upmanship” with teachers or other peers in the group, trying to show others that they are better, smarter or funnier than others.
However caution should be applied here against trying to show “the one” that you are more knowledgeable than they are. Certainly you never should take them on with out knowing what they are up to, you often end up looking argumentative. You should not work to show them you’re smarter, just equal as that is what they want. They are vying for attention, so it is best to give them what they want, it seems to calm them down… the rest of the group make their own mind up! They normally just think – what an idiot!
The coping with “the one” is “to contend on equal terms” . Difficult people have learned, often from childhood, that being difficult puts other people at a disadvantage. It’s that disadvantage they count on to get the results they want.
So it is best to be prepared, know the dynamics and know your type!!
Carol Stewart-Kirkby – a Communication Specialist thinks there are several different types who are “the one”-
Sherman Tank
The Sherman Tank needs to be right and will plow over people to prove a point. They are arrogant and will attack not just your idea or project, but you personally as well.
Snipers
Snipers use innuendoes, under-their-breath remarks and teasing to undermine others. These people are not as obvious as the Sherman Tank, but their behaviour can be just as destructive. Snipers are skilled at using their problem behaviour in environments where the victim is least likely to give a rebuttal, for instance in a meeting or at a social function, lest a scene result. Snipers, like Sherman Tanks, feel very strongly about how others should think and act.
Exploder
The Exploder can best be described as the adult throwing a temper tantrum. These tantrums are filled with anger and rage which seems barely under control. Quite often, this behaviour erupts during what began as a friendly and reasonable conversation. Usually, Exploders feel threatened or have had their plans and ideas thwarted.
Complainers
Complainers find fault with everything. And reading between the complaints, these people are usually suggesting that someone, probably you, should do something about them. Pay attention to their conversation. Often it is strung together with ands and buts — thoughts following one after the other without pause.
Clams
These people react to questions you have posed, controversial statements you have made, and indeed any situation they deem disagreeable, by clamming up. Just when you want a response, they may grunt, give a no or a yes or more likely say nothing.
Super-Agreeables
What is so difficult about working with someone who is always pleasant and supportive of your ideas and projects? Nothing, until you want that person to do something for you.
Super-Agreeables want to be liked and accepted by everyone, so to achieve this they are outgoing, sociable and very personable. However, the danger here is they will agree with you about one thing and then agree with the next person whose ideas are contrary to yours. As well, the Super-Agreeable will volunteer to do every job and get none of them done. They will be the one that will go along with the negative person sitting next to them!
Negativists
Negativists believe that people in power don’t care or are self-serving; as a result, they strongly believe their negative comments.
Know it alls- Bulldozers
Bulldozers are usually experts who don’t know how to work/deal with other people. They feel strongly that the more they know, the better off they will be. They also feel that they control their own destiny. As a result, the ideas and knowledge of others are deemed irrelevant.
Know it alls-Balloons
Balloons, like Bulldozers, want respect and admiration from others based on their expertise, but they are faking — they aren’t really experts at all. They are often unaware that they are talking about something they don’t know much about. Balloons are usually quite curious and are good collectors of information. This characteristic is a hindrance when the information they present to you is only half the story.
Talks too much or rambles!
There are lots of reasons why people talk too much. Mostly to be a know it all!
Carol Stewart-Kirkby – Communication Specialist in this very interesting article gives you help on how to cope with all of them and is not just enlightening but just great advice to anyone who has “the one” in a group you are involved with/teaching/ or managing.
physioandrehab 